I often find it very difficult to start a paper, an e-mail, a letter or even an SMS. You always start your writings by telling people everything except what you want to say. But with no inhibitions this time, I am starting directly, am looking for peace, for the past few year, I have been doing nothing but looking for peace. Did I find it ? No! I look for it through work, trips, people, love, family, pray, stories, movies but to no avail. Is it that hard to find or am I looking at the wrong places, people, times. For over 5 years, I have been trying to find it
Just few days after am back from one of those peace finding trips, am back the same as I am even more confused. I often meet those girls who believe that studying and working in a western country has granted them peace for sometime, did it do this to me? no. What does it do then? It help you think clearly away from social pressures, increased your sense of independence so that as soon as you are back home, you are even more confused and tired. The more you spend independently, the more assertive you become that you are unable to find peace and home. But it's not still within and stuff, because reading all those self-healing books does not help either. Going to Yoga classes? mediation? what else did you do to find it? did you find it? . ..
Just few days after am back from one of those peace finding trips, am back the same as I am even more confused. I often meet those girls who believe that studying and working in a western country has granted them peace for sometime, did it do this to me? no. What does it do then? It help you think clearly away from social pressures, increased your sense of independence so that as soon as you are back home, you are even more confused and tired. The more you spend independently, the more assertive you become that you are unable to find peace and home. But it's not still within and stuff, because reading all those self-healing books does not help either. Going to Yoga classes? mediation? what else did you do to find it? did you find it? . ..
